Elizabeth’s “I Swear to Do Better” Jar for Season 3 (through Episode 16):

$21

Here's Your Penis! (Spicy Lemonade)

Here's Your Penis! (Spicy Lemonade)

“Here’s your penis!” (and the inspiration for our spicy lemonade!) / NBC Universal / Handbag Marinara / @handbagmarinara

“Here’s your penis!” (and the inspiration for our spicy lemonade!) / NBC Universal / Handbag Marinara / @handbagmarinara

In Season 3, Episode 6, TOW the Flashback, Janice poses the question, “Did any of you ever … almost?” We flash back to three years in the past, and we see Ross and Phoebe almost get together, Monica and Chandler almost get together, Chandler and Rachel fantasy get together, and — in the scene that provided the inspiration for our signature beverage — Monica offer Joey lemonade. Unfortunately, “lemonade” means something very different in Joey’s world.

May we present: the Here’s Your Penis! (aka Spicy Lemonade).

The concept was simple: make a spiked lemonade with a kick of something spicy (since Joey’s strip tease sure did heat things up!). Elizabeth decided to make a basic “master cleanse” lemonade — lemon juice, cayenne pepper, maple syrup, water — and add some raspberry vodka. Heather steeped fresh jalapeño and lemon rind in cilantro vodka overnight, then combined it with lemon juice, water, and simple syrup when it was recording time.

Both cocktails provide a delightful lemon zing and a kick of spice. They’re a great take on lemonade!

Heather’s Here’s Your Penis! Spicy Lemonade / Handbag Marinara / @handbagmarinara

Heather’s Here’s Your Penis! Spicy Lemonade / Handbag Marinara / @handbagmarinara

Heather’s Here’s Your Penis! Spicy Lemonade

  • 1/4 jalapeño

  • 3 strips lemon rind

  • 1/2 cup cilantro vodka

  • 1/2 cup water

  • 1/4 cup fresh lemon juice

  • 1/4 simple syrup

Combine the jalapeño, lemon rind, and cilantro vodka in a glass container or jar. Cover and let them groove in the fridge for a while. (Heather’s grooved for 15 hours). When ready to serve, combine the lemon-jalapeño vodka mixture with the water, lemon juice, and simple syrup, over ice.

Elizabeth’s Here’s Your Penis! Spicy Lemonade

  • Juice of 1/2 a lemon

  • Pinch of cayenne pepper

  • 1 tsp maple syrup

  • 1 ounce raspberry vodka

  • Water

Combine all ingredients in a glass over ice.

S03 E06 - TOW the Flashback

S03 E06 - TOW the Flashback

S03 E05 - TOW Frank Jr.

S03 E05 - TOW Frank Jr.