S03 E11 - TOW Chandler Can't Remember Which Sister
aka TOW Green Jell-O and Red Clothing (and It Isn’t Even Christmas)
Chandler gets a green tongue after downing WAY too many Jell-O shots. Monica levels with him:
Monica: Stick out your tongue.
Chandler: Take off your shirt!
While we don’t advocate this approach (unless you want Cookie to punch you), we do enjoy a refreshing Jell-O shot every once in a while. Well, Elizabeth does. This was Heather’s FIRST Jell-O shot! Why? Well, she got married at 18, so she missed the whole “away at college drinking jungle juice and doing Jell-O shots” thing. Plus, she doesn’t eat regular gelatin, because she doesn’t want to eat ground-up horse hooves.
However, she’s found a vegan, dye-free brand of Jell-O — Bakol Jel — and used that to make the signature “beverage” for this week:
Take Off Your Shirt Jell-O Shots! (Just like Mom used to make.)
The red color of this strawberry-flavored Jell-O is apropos, considering that almost everyone wears some variation of red in this week’s episode. As for vodka, Heather used…
Pizza! Jell-O! Brunch! Tiramisu!
The gang starts things off enjoying pizza (courtesy of now-closed Ray Bari Pizza) and questionable magic tricks (courtesy of Joey.) But the crux of this entire episode rests on the abundant number of Jell-O shots Chandler consumed at Joey’s birthday party. The party had no shortage of liquor, as demonstrated by the foosball table-turned-liquor table, stocked with pretty much every liquor and mixer imaginable.
The next morning, the gang has their traditional brunch spread — bagels, smoked salmon, fruit, etc. — and Chandler has an untraditional hangover. When he goes over to Joey’s parents’ house to try to clear things up with Mary Angela, he joins them all for dessert — grandma’s tiramisu!
Heather loves tiramisu, but coffee desserts don’t rank high on Elizabeth’s list. Heather’s favorite recipe is from The Silver Spoon, the apparent “bible” of Italian home cookery. Here’s a food blogger’s experience making the recipe.
Oh, and we have to give a special nod to Water Joe — Heather apparently used to drink this caffeinated water in high school, but Elizabeth had never heard of it!
THE GIRLS (AND JOEY’S SISTERS)
Aside from Rachel channeling Cher from Clueless at the beginning of the episode, and Phoebe wearing a funky-patterned belted shirt at Monica and Rachel’s and then a funky-patterned skirt to Joey’s birthday party, there is an overabundance of RED AND BLACK in this episode!
Monica wears a black turtleneck and red skirt to Joey’s party, the next day she and Rachel are both wearing red, ALL of Joey’s sisters wear black to his party and then red for dinner at their parents’ house… WHAT IS GOING ON?
We also want to know — are you fans of the oversized crop sweater Rachel wears mid-way through the episode? Heather’s a nay, Elizabeth’s a yay.
THE GUYS (AND GUNTHER AND MARK)
The guys don’t wear anything too noteworthy this week, although we have to admit that Mark (hello, Mark!) does look rather dapper in his business attire. Gunther, on the other hand, looks like a bleach-blonde Christmas elf. Did he not get the memo that Christmas was so last week? We do have to take a moment to note Joey’s dark-blue-and-black Henley shirt — even though he’s pissed at Chandler, he looks comfy as hell!
CHANDLER MEETS JELL-O SHOTS
Chandler’s still depressed about losing Janice, and it doesn’t help that he just saw her and her husband ice skating at Rockefeller Center. The gang says that Joey’s birthday party the next night should cheer him up, and does it ever — he imbibes (slurps?) most of the Jell-O shots he’s supposed to be passing around to the guests.
Monica: Stick out your tongue.
Chandler: Take off your shirt!
Joey: Oh my God! How many of these things did you have? These are pure vodka.
Chandler: Yeah, Jell-o just like Mom used to make.
In his green-tongued, drunken stupor, he starts talking to a couple of Joey’s dopplegänger sisters, explaining why he’s taking Janice off of his speed-dial:
Chandler: Why must we dial so speedily anyway…. Why can’t we savor the precious moments those are some huge breasts you have.
The next morning, he confesses to the gang (sans Joey) that he messed around with one of Joey’s sisters … but he can’t remember which one. When Joey comes in and grills him about it, he gets scared and — in order to avoid a beating from Joey — says that he thinks he has real feelings for her.
A little later, we see Ross reading a note that Chandler intends to give to Mary Angela (the sister he made out with):
Ross: Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. How’s it going. This is the hardest letter I’ve ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hell’s the matter with you?
Ross tells Chandler he needs to man up and go to speak to Mary Angela in person. Chandler heads over to Joey’s parents’ house, and Joey answers the door (he’s waiting for his grandmother to finish doing his laundry). He’s excited because he thinks Chandler’s there to spend time with Mary Angela, and tells Chandler that she’s just in the next room. Unfortunately, so are ALL of Joey’s other sisters.
After an awkward conversation over tiramisu, in which Chandler tries to get Mary Angela to speak up so he knows which one she is (but Grandma keeps answering for her), one of the sisters whispers to Chandler that he should excuse himself and meet her in the other room. When he does, she pounces on him and they kiss. He thinks it’s Mary Angela, until she says:
Joey’s Sister: God, Mary-Angela was right — you do have the softest lips.
Chandler: Ahhhh, you’re not Mary-Angela?
Joey’s Sister: No, I’m Mary-Therese.
Chandler: This is so bad. If-if you’re not Mary-Angela, then-then who is?
Mary-Angela: (standing behind Chandler) I am!
Joey and his sisters gather around Chandler and are incensed. They can’t believe that he can’t tell them apart! Just when Cookie wants to punch Chandler, Joey stops her and says he’s his best friend and knows he didn’t do anything on purpose. Then he says they’ll be squared away — after he apologizes to Mary Angela. When Chandler still can’t figure out which one she is, Joey gives Cookie permission to punch away.
RACHEL MEETS MARK
Rachel officially hates her new job. Yes, it’s technically in the fashion industry. Yes, it’s only her first week. But is sorting hundreds of wire hangers really going to help her learn about working in fashion? She vents about this to Monica, who doesn’t have very much sympathy:
Rachel: Oh, I wanna quit, but then I think I should stick it out, then I think why would such a person stay in such a demeaning job, just because it’s remotely related to the field they’re interested in.
Monica: (gives her a look) Gee, I don’t know Rach. Order up!! I got a Yentl soup, a James Beans, and a Howdy hold the Doody!
Rachel: Oh honey, come on, I’m sorry, I didn’t.... I don’t mind paying my dues, y'know, its just how much am I gonna learn about fashion by walking Mira, the arthritic seamstress, to the bathroom?
When she says that last bit, a man sitting a few seats away from her at the counter chuckles. She basically tells him off — that is, until he mentions that he works for Bloomingdale’s and might know of a job opening for her. She then makes a peace offering of her pickle (something he offers to her a few episodes from now — HEYOOOOOOO!!)
Rachel excitedly tells Ross about the encounter at Joey’s birthday party — and Ross turns into a toxic, jealous ASSHOLE about it. He claims that the only reason Mark is being nice to her is because he wants to have sex with her, and looks to Joey to back him up:
Ross: Well, I’m just saying, I mean why else would he just, y'know, swoop in out of nowhere for no reason.
Rachel: To be nice.
Ross: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?
Joey: No, only for sex.
Ross: Thank you. (to Rachel) So did you ah, did you tell Mark Something about me?
Rachel: I didn’t have to, because I was wearing my ‘I heart Ross’ sandwich board and ringing my bell.
That would be disturbing enough, if Ross didn’t get even more possessive later in the episode. When Rachel’s bummed that Mark hasn’t called her about the job interview yet, Monica suggests Rachel call him — he gave her his home number, after all.
At that point, Ross, who was feigning support a few seconds earlier, actually tries to keep Rachel in her seat by putting his hands on her shoulders so she doesn’t jump up to call Mark.
NOT COOL, DR. GELLER.
She does call Mark though, and finds out that she’s got the interview.
Rachel: I got to figure out what I’m going to wear.
Ross: High collar and baggy pants say I’m a pro.
Rachel: Yeah! Right! Okay, I’ll see you guys later. (starts to leave) Woo hoo!
Ross: You go get ‘em. (to Monica) What did I do to you? Did I hurt you in some way?
Ross: ‘Why don’t you call him?!’ Well, thank you very much! Y'know now he is going to prep her, y'know prep her, as in what you do when you surgically remove the boyfriend!
Monica: Are you crazy?!
Ross: Am I! Am I! Am I out of my mind! Am I losing my senses!! This dreamy guy is taking my girlfriend out for a meal.
Monica: What?! Ross y'know this isn’t even about you! I mean this is about Rachel and something wonderful happening for her. I mean you know even if you’re right, what if he wants to sleep with her, does it mean he gets too?
Monica: I mean don’t you trust her?
Ross: Well, yeah!
Monica: Then get over yourself! Grow up!
Nice job putting him in his place, Mon! The episode closes with Ross surprising Rachel in the lobby of Bloomingdale’s and giving her a flower. Heather thinks this was sweet, but Elizabeth thinks it’s no good because it wasn’t fueled by love, it was fueled by his own toxic needs! Mark comes down and tells her she’s got the job, and she hugs … Mark.
Gotta say, we would, too.
PHOEBE MEETS THE NOISY NEIGHBOR UPSTAIRS
Apparently, Monica and Rachel’s upstairs neighbor just took up his carpeting, and now you can hear everything. And the guy’s so charming, every time Monica goes upstairs to complain, she ends up apologizing to him. Phoebe says enough is enough, goes upstairs to talk to him, and ends up flirting.
At Joey’s birthday party, Phoebe tells Monica that she’s going to go out with the noisy guy:
Phoebe: Well, he’s very charming.
Monica: I know, he’s too charming, but if you two start going out, then it’s just gonna make it so much harder for me to hate him.
Phoebe: Well, you’re just gonna have to try.
Phoebe’s date goes well, and Monica and Rachel find out about it in real time — they can hear all of the action happening in the apartment above! Phoebe’s embarrassed at first, but then she says she really likes the guy. Too bad that a little while later, everyone hears him having a really good time — with another woman.
The guys come to Phoebe’s defense and go upstairs to confront him. But he wins them over, too!
OTHER STUFF WE TALKED ABOUT
Vegan Jell-O (even Phoebe can enjoy it!)
High taxes on cigarettes in NYC? “New York State has implemented larger tax increases than any other state between 1996 and 2010…”