Elizabeth’s “I Swear to Do Better” Jar for Season 3 (through Episode 16):


S02 E19 - TOW Eddie Won't Go

S02 E19 - TOW Eddie Won't Go

aka TOW Eddie Gets Gaslit

OAD: 03/28/96


So … this one was … interesting.

Kind of how Eddie was … interesting.

In TOW Eddie Won’t Go, Eddie replaces the Pepperidge Farm goldfish with a real, live goldfish. So we took the fish-tank theme and some inspiration from Just a Pinch and made a single-serving fishbowl cocktail. Ours skips the sweet and sour mix and syrupy sodas in favor of a tangier spin.

Even with the tweaks we made to make it a little more natural…

Go here for the full scoop!


  • More dehydrated fruits and vegetables than any single human could manage to consume in their lifetime (Get your own food dehydrator here!)

  • Phallic-shaped man-cakes (aka crullers); try this recipe from Epicurious — they’re donut shaped, so shouldn’t spark any runaway feminism

  • Gunther’s pity lemonade

  • Chocolate cake (that nobody ends up eating)



Rachel starts off the episode in a long-sleeved green velvet shirt (Neiman Marcus has a stunning version), her signature black nylons and short-short black skirt, and a very cute apron with crayon drawings of barnyard animals! Perhaps she was inspired by Phoebe’s barnyard animals song?

Next up, we’ve got a Nubbin Alert in Rachel’s sheer, cream-colored blouse, which she’s paired with a leopard-print apron that Heather LOVES (she’s a sucker for animal print!). For the goddess quiz, Rachel’s back in her undone overalls (and belt) and sporting a 1996 Olympics tee — the Olympics were in Atlanta that year, so the U.S. was really excited about it! Rachel closes out the episode in a repeat of her graphic flower apron and a simple black dress over a long-sleeved white shirt.


This episode of the podcast released on Valentine’s Day, and Monica’s appropriately dressed for the occasion! She’s donned a feminine and sophisticated red-striped sweater — she’s with Richard now, and she’s lightening up!

… And then she goes back to her normal gray. She starts in a rather masculine gray cardigan, takes a break from the gray by wearing an army-green NYC tee as jammies, then returns to a gray short-sleeved sweater that we’re pretty sure we’ve seen her in before.


Phoebe looking very cute in her black-and-white daisy cardigan (try this version from TopShop) and red skirt. Things go downhill fast, though, when she wears an oversized, dirty-pink, velvet-flowered button-down shirt for the goddess quiz. Her scrunchie is on point, though.


Eddie’s wearing that hideous short-sleeved sweater again, although he’s wearing a leather jacket over it, so it’s harder to tell (and more likely to fly in the 21st century). Joey’s looking comfy throughout the episode, in his soft-fabric button-downs.



Okay. So Eddie’s batshit crazy. Chandler catches him watching Chandler sleep, and proclaims that Hannibal Lecter is a better roommate than Eddie. He orders Eddie to leave, and Eddie says he’ll be out by the time Chandler gets home from work. The thing is, he doesn’t leave. Instead, he buys a dehydrating machine and starts sucking the water out of every fruit and vegetable imaginable. He’s also replaced the Pepperidge Farm goldfish with a real, live goldfish (a fantail goldfish, to be precise — thanks, Heather!).

Upon first glance, it appears that Eddie might be gaslighting Chandler, and just pretending that he doesn’t remember being kicked out. Maybe he thinks that by pretending everything’s okay, he’ll be able to stay? We’ve seen this behavior in our personal lives, and everyone knows how big of an issue gaslighting has become.

Chandler sleeps over at Monica’s that night, and the next morning he tries once again to kick Eddie out. Once again, Eddie is speechless. He claims that this is all coming out of the blue. Chandler corrects him:

“This is smack dab in the middle of the blue!”

Chandler thinks he’s finally gotten through to Eddie — he runs into Central Perk and tells the girls, “Ding dong, the psycho’s gone!” Too bad Eddie’s…


Okay, so it’s not a human head — it’s a mannequin head. He stole it off a mannequin at Macy’s. He also tells the girls about how (instead of the fight Chandler claims they had), the two of them took a road trip to Vegas, Chandler won $300, and bought Eddie the pair of shoes he’s wearing. Now Chandler’s the one who’s speechless. How will he ever get rid of Eddie?

By gaslighting him, apparently.

Eddie shows up carrying a red parrot and a hubcap (natch), but his key doesn’t work. Chandler opens the door, claims to have never met Eddie, and says he’s already got a roommate. Joey’s back! Eddie is confused at first, but then accepts the lie and apologizes profusely and leaves. The guys are back together again!


Joey starts off the episode feeling jaunty — and he knows that word because Chandler gave him word-of-the-day toilet paper. He goes to see Estelle and she tells him she got him an audition for Another World — Cab Driver #2. He’s miffed and feels the role is beneath him and leaves (but not before we have a chance to admire the giant pink Hershey’s Kiss pillow and bow chandelier earrings Estelle’s wearing).

Joey goes home, only to be confronted by a GIANT credit card statement. Here are some of the charges, at some very interestingly named stores:

“$3,500 at Porcelain Safari”

“$1,100 at I Love Lucite”

$2,300 at isn’t it Chromantic”

Ross is then a horrible and unsupportive friend: He tells Joey to suck it up and take the part because he needs to pay his bills. Joey won’t hear any of it, so Ross leaves. Joey heads to Central Perk for some comfort lemonade, and Gunther speaks! He sympathizes with Joey getting killed off of Days of Our Lives, and confides that he was buried in an avalanche — because he used to be Bryce on All My Children. Panicked, Joey practically runs out to go to that audition — which he tanks (oh, and if you’re curious about the conversation Matt LeBlanc had with Conan O’Brien recently, here’s a link to the video.)

Ross comes back to Joey’s apartment to find all of his stuff being sent back. Joey’s feeling really low, and Ross apologizes and offers to buy him one of the repossessed items. After scoffing at a $1,200 acrylic parrot, he buys Pat the Dog for $200.


Monica and Phoebe have recently read a female empowerment book, Be Your Own Windkeeper. It’s all about how men are Lightning-Bearers who steal women’s Wind and it’s up to women to take it back. Phoebe comments on the “phallic-shaped man-cakes” (aka crullers) that Joey brings to the table, and he’s rather confused. (Wake up y’all, phalluses are everywhere.) They get Rachel on board, she reads it and is instantly hooked.

Rachel, feeling empowered by her book, stands up to Ross when he comes to pick her up for their movie date. And we’re treated to our favorite quote from this week (which was really hard for Jennifer Aniston to make it through during filming):

“How do you expect me to grow, if you won’t let me blow?”

The girls treat themselves to a Goddess Quiz, and the gloves come off — they start attacking each other and accusing each other of not being good Goddesses. Eventually, they start calling each other “leaf blowers” and slamming doors and jewelry boxes.

Later on at the coffee shop, Rachel says I’m sorry with a couple of slices of cake, and the girls make up:

“I mean we have enough trouble with guys stealing our wind without taking it from each other.”

Excellent message, Rachel! Now take those pieces of cake back before they deduct them from your paycheck! We girls gotta stick together!


  • Water in the fish tank is moving already, BEFORE Eddie comes back in to grab the fish. Multiple takes?

  • They make it seem like Monica didn’t know that Phoebe slept with Jason Hurley an hour after he’d broken up with Monica, but that already came out on the balcony in TOW George Stephanopolous


  • Eddie saying, “I’ll move into my brother’s basement, and when he finds out, I will move somewhere else.”

  • Monica trying on Joey’s jaunty hat, Rachel vetoing it

  • Joey looking at the cruller and asking Phoebe, “Who’ve you been dating?”

  • Estelle saying she used to play “tickle pickle with Rex Harrison.”

  • Monica chastising Rachel for calling Ross in the middle of their goddess quiz

  • Goddess fight: “Pool drainer!”  “Twig snapper!” “Monkey butt!”

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