Elizabeth’s “I Swear to Do Better” Jar for Season 3 (through Episode 13):


S02 E18 - TOW Dr. Ramoray Dies

S02 E18 - TOW Dr. Ramoray Dies

aka TOW Joey Gets the Shaft

OAD: 3/21/96



So … here’s the thing.

In this episode, Eddie defies the laws of physics and suspends a goldfish cracker in his fish tank and names it Chandler.

So naturally, we googled “Goldfish cocktail” and lo and behold friends, we GOT RESULTS.

It’s an actual cocktail, named for the New York speakeasy (The Aquarium) in which it was invented during the Prohibition era…

Read the full cocktail post here!


  • We’ve got some odd product placement happening on top of the guys’ fridge: a MET-Rx box AND cup! Normally, the set people hide any notion of a brand name (the gang drinks S’Apple and Vinute Vade juice, etc.), so it’s odd that the MET-Rx is so prominently displayed.

  • Fruit Bowl Alert! We’ve got grapefruit and pears, friends.

  • The gang snacks on chips and salsa while watching a VHS of Joey’s show.

  • Eddie makes some very questionable pecan sandies. Chandler wonders if they’re raisins, and neither of us convinced that they are. We definitely would’ve flung the cookie across the room, too! If you’re looking for a real pecan sandie recipe, try this one from Martha Stewart. Oh, and did you notice the big container of Crisco on the counter?

  • Goldfish crackers! Well, technically, it’s only one goldfish cracker, and it’s very prominently featured in the episode. Did you know that Julia Child was known to serve goldfish crackers as an appetizer, and that her 100th birthday coincided with Pepperidge Farms’ 75th birthday? Spooky!



Rachel starts off this week’s episode in a super-comfy jammy ensemble, including the green blurry plaid jammy pants we’ve seen on her before. Later on at Central Perk, she channels her inner ringmaster (ringmistress?) in a very colorful striped jacket. We have to admit, we’re not fans of this look, but you can grab an updated version at Forever 21 that’s really cute. She closes out the episode having finally chosen one color — red (perhaps Monica’s influence?) Her subtly striped red dress is both sexy and sophisticated — classic Rachel! Get a similar version at the Gap.


Wow! Monica’s in black and white and looks like a cater waiter! Who knew?? She sexes things up later in the episode in a long-sleeved red lace top with a blank spaghetti-strap tank top underneath. This embellished red lace top from Macy’s is even sexier, with a plunging neckline, sparkles, and bell sleeves.



How freakin’ cute is Phoebe?

She’s in her signature daisy look — daisy pendant necklace (we’ve seen this several times already) and matching daisy-printed shirt with sheer sleeves.

The sleeveless squirtleneck she’s got on underneath would be trés sexy all on its own!

What she’s got on the bottom leaves a bit to be desired — is it pants? Is it a skirt? It’s overly billowy, but definitely in keeping with Phoebe’s character. She rarely wears anything that’s too form-fitting.


Chandler starts off the episode in a USA-printed sweatshirt that’s very reminiscent of the shirt Rachel wore while trapping pot-pigeons. Here’s a version from Ralph Lauren, Rachel’s (spoiler alert) future employer. Other noteworthy looks on the guys this week include Joey donning a comfortable-looking brown velvet button-down and Eddie donning a very unattractive — and very 90s — short-sleeved sweater. At least it shows off his pecs and biceps — we guess that MET-Rx is working for him!




In a shocking plot twist (note the sarcasm), Eddie turns out to be a little loco. We start the episode with Chandler trying to get Phoebe to play foosball with him, but she won’t because of her ethics:

“This game is grotesque. Twenty armless men, joined at the waist by a steel bar, forced to play soccer forever? Hello, human rights violation!”


He confides in her that Eddie’s not really into sports, and they aren’t really getting along. She grabs a ball and flings it against Eddie’s closed bedroom door, he comes out, she invents a Green Eggs and Ham discussion group that she has to skedaddle to, and the guys are left to their own devices.

Alcohol to the rescue! They grab some beers and start talking. Unfortunately, Eddie starts talking a bit too much, and reveals that his heart was once metaphorically ripped out of his chest and smeared across his life. Chandler is noticeably shaken. The rebound-roommate bubble is beginning to burst!


Cut to the next scene, where Eddie’s ex-girlfriend Tilly shows up to drop off his fish tank. They start talking about Eddie, but then Eddie shows up, Tilly awkwardly leaves, and Eddie immediately accuses Chandler of sleeping with her. Eddie angrily smacks his head, Chandler feels the pain on Eddie’s behalf, and tries to diffuse the tension by tossing him a tangelo, which dully thuds off of his chest and falls to the floor.

We end the episode with Eddie replacing his “missing” fish — with a goldfish cracker named Chandler.

“Okay, good night … you big freak of nature.”



Ross and Rachel are dating. Monica and Richard are dating. It was only inevitable that they’d both be having sex in the same apartment at the same time, right? Of course, the reasons behind those sexcapades are very different.

Monica and Richard are deep in discussion about their “numbers” — the number of people they’ve each slept with. We don’t know Monica’s number for sure, but it’s definitely less than a ballpark. Richard? He’s at two. TWO:

“Two. Two? How is that possible? Have you seen you?”


When Monica can’t seem to comprehend how he’s only at two, he says “Well, I’ve only ever slept with women I’ve been in love with.” They officially say “I love you” for the first time! Time for some celebratory I-love-you-making.

Ross and Rachel, on the other hand, are grappling with another episode of “Ross is an insecure, and therefore toxic, asshole.” Rachel lists the men she’s been with (notably forgetting to mention Chip Matthews) and ends with Paulo. Ross immediately fixates on “the weenie from Torini” and freaks out because he doesn’t think their sex life measures up to hers and Paulo’s.

Even though she’s in her bedroom. On her bed. Begging him to connect with her. Dammit, Ross, go to therapy already! Instead of listening to what she’s saying and having a real connection with her, Ross grabs her, throws her onto the bed, and aims to prove that they can have wild animal sex, too.

Cut to the bathroom. Both girls are in search of a condom. They find the box and — there’s only one condom. What to do? Well, first they argue for a while, then Rachel promises to do all sorts of chores for a month if she gets the condom, but then she can’t tell Monica where the dustpan is, so that’s a lost cause.

In the meantime, the guys are waiting outside the rooms, awkwardly trying to hold a conversation. Ross growls at Richard, Richard talks about mustache combs, then they end up arguing about Vietnam War movies.


The girls finally settle on an old fashioned game of Rock Paper Scissors. By the way, it’s clear that Rachel should’ve let Monica have the condom this time around — “I love you” should trump chipmunk sex, as far as we’re concerned. But Rachel prevails in the game and runs off to have sex with Ross. Monica has to break the news to Richard:

“It’s not going to happen. They’re doing it tonight, we can do it tomorrow.”

“In the future, if I could see the schedule beforehand...



Oh, Joey. When will you learn? He’s finally got a regular acting job on Days of Our Lives, and even an article written about him in Soap Opera Digest. But in that interview, he says that he writes a lot of his own lines (which he doesn’t). The writers are officially pissed and use a very old computer to write his character off of the show.


Joey finds out when Brian Posehn delivers his script to him, and he sees that he falls down an elevator shaft. Joey hides out in his apartment, hoping no one will ever find out. The gang pops in their VHS of his show and watches him go splat.

“Did they just kill off Joey?”

“No! [splat!] Now, maybe…”

The gang rushes to Joey’s aid — even Chandler’s there, despite their recent awkwardness — Monica fluffs Joey’s shower curtain so he won’t get mildew. They remind him that he’ll always be pre-approved with them.



Tangelo Goldfish

Tangelo Goldfish