S02 E15 - TOW Ross and Rachel ... You Know
aka TOW Planetarium Sex
SIGNATURE BEVERAGE: CRAN-APPLE OR CRAN-GRAPE?
Ross and Rachel’s dinner date is derailed when he has to go in to the museum to correct one of the displays.
Not to be outdone by a mannequin in a loincloth, Ross grabs some vending machine goodies and asks Rachel a very important question?
“You want Cran-Apple or Cran-Grape?”
Of course, he’s referring to the Ocean Spray juice boxes he’s holding. Rach picks Cran-Grape—and Heather made a Cran-Grape Daiquiri to go along with that choice. Elizabeth made a Cran-Apple Old Fashioned in honor of the juice box that Ross ended up with.
Monica’s mom lands her a job catering for Dr. Richard Burke, her parents’ good friend. He apparently has more fun helping Monica in the kitchen than entertaining his party guests, because we see him with a brush in his hand saucing what looks like chicken skewers, while she stuffs mushrooms with a very dry filling. There are also shrimp on a platter, onions and shallots in a Tupperware, and a rogue fennel bulb.
Rachel starts things off in a hideous mustard-yellow turtleneck with an odd vertical pattern and red stripes. We are not fans of this shirt at all! At least she pairs it with her usual black shorts/black nylons.
For the rest of the episode (except the very end), she puts on more and more clothes. She’s dating Ross now, so she decides this is the right time to start covering up? For their first date, she wears a simple Y-necklace, brown velvet crop top, and high-waisted wide-leg pants.
The next day, she keeps things super casual in a white-t-shirt and jeans. Very reminiscent of some cast photos we’ve seen!
For THE date at the museum, she wears all black — pants, boots, etc. — and pairs them with a shiny jacket.
Breaking news: Monica’s wearing red again. Also, her bangs are SO in her eyes and it’s driving us crazy! Cut those things, Monica, before you hurt someone!
Thus begins the multi-episode arc: Monica Blinks and Her Entire Hair Style Moves Along With It.
Ross changes things up this week. No really, we mean it.
Normally, Ross wears a green-purple plaid. He wore it when Rachel realized he was his lobster, for example. But this week, he surprises us by wearing … purple-green plaid! Way to go out on a limb, Dr. Geller!
If you miss the green-purple plaid, fear not: It’ll be back next week, because apparently it’s too early in their relationship for Rachel to start shopping for Ross. But oh boy, does he need her help!
A COUPLE OF LAZY BOYS
Joey’s making money now, so naturally, he buys a HUGE TV and matching black leather Barcaloungers!
“Now we can finally watch Green Acres the way it was meant to be seen!”
The gents shove the rest of their furniture to the side; you can see the computer desk and couch shoved haphazardly against the far wall, and the golf-club chair is more prominently—yet awkwardly—displayed for all of us to gaze at in wonder.
The vegetarian in Phoebe isn’t as impressed:
“I can’t believe two cows made the ultimate sacrifice so you two could watch TV with your feet up.” “They were chair-shaped cows … they never would’ve survived in the wild.”
Soon enough, the guys decide that they’d rather sit on the chairs 24/7 than 1) move or 2) go be with the three-dimensional people (we can’t blame them; humans are often overrated). Chandler devises a way for them to eat without getting up:
“Don’t ring the buzzer for 19. Ring 20, Geller/Green, they’ll let you in.”
Throughout the episode, you can see the food remnants pile grow and grow. Chinese takeout cartons, sandwich boxes, a Sprite can, and various bits of tinfoil surround them like a garbage heap.
“You got a Cheeto on your face, man.”
This plot line serves as much of the comic relief throughout the rest of the episode; Chandler confides that he also had a girl laugh at him when he kissed her, however it’s because “It was 1982 and my flock of seagulls haircut was tickling her chin.”
Phoebe tries to get the lazy boys out of the chairs, but she’s sucked into the vortex too, when Chandler flips the channel to Xanadu.
A WICKED GAME IN A PUBLIC SPACE
Ross and Rachel are dating! Ross and Rachel are dating! But to do that, they’ve got to … go on dates. Rachel ditches her commitment to help Monica with her catering gig in order to go on her first official date with Ross, then we’re treated to an interesting bit of FRIENDS canon-breaking, when Rachel says she didn’t want to wear her glasses on their first date. Have we EVER seen Rachel in glasses, before or since? Nope.
Rachel proceeds to giggle when Ross starts to kiss her. We’ve all gotten a little giggly in the bedroom, but this laughter is enough to knock Ross out of whack.
“Whoa! Ross’s hands are on my butt.”
“Put your hands out and I’ll back into them.”
Rach feels bad for how the first date ended, so she promises to make it up to Ross.
“Make a romantic dinner with candles, wine, and then maybe go back to my place for… hmm, dessert.”
The way she says “dessert” is enough to turn us on, let alone the guy she’s actually dating. We’re set up for our next date. Too bad Homo habilis threw a kink into their plans. Ross has to race to the museum (again, not really in sync with the show so far; Ross hasn’t ever been this busy with work).
“Homo habilis was erect. Australopithecus was never fully erect.”
“Well maybe he was nervous.”
Ross drags Rachel to the museum with him, she occupies herself by lifting up a mannequin’s loincloth, and eventually it’s too late for their dinner date at Sorrentino’s. Ross refuses to give up, grabs a fur rug, and brings her into the planetarium.
Apparently, Ross is quite handy with a planetarium switchboard, because he’s very quick to turn it from a narrator shouting, “BILLIONS OF YEARS AGO…” to Chris Isaak singing “Wicked Game”. Rachel’s putty in his hands.
“You were worth the wait, and I don’t just mean tonight.”
Now, let’s discuss one more thing. How the hell was Ross not immediately fired when he and Rachel were discovered the next morning, naked, by a group of Catholic-school children??
IT’S JAMES BOND!
Yay! Richard’s here! He’s one of our favorite characters: tall, dark, and handsome. And a great guy to boot! But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. First, let’s set the scene.
As we said earlier, Rachel ditched Monica to go on a date with Ross, so Phoebe steps up and says she can be a waitress:
“Gimme two #1’s, 86 the bacon, one Adam and Eve on a raft and wreck ‘em.”
For those of you who weren’t around in 1952 and therefore don’t speak fluent diner lingo, here’s what everything means:
Adam and Eve on a raft: Eggs on toast
Wreck ‘em: Scrambled eggs
Okay, NOW we can talk about Richard! Yay! This is the first of Tom Selleck’s 10 appearances as Dr. Richard Burke. We know he’s something special as soon as he comes on screen. Phoebe’s reaction pretty much sums it up:
“It’s James Bond!”
Monica and Phoebe show up to his apartment in cater-waiter black and white ensembles. Monica’s hair is oddly casual, half-up in a scrunchie.
The three make small talk. The girls do “the head tilt” when he mentions his recent divorce, and he gives them the “I’m okay head bob” to let them know that he’s doing all right. Richard then proceeds to spend more time in the kitchen with them than outside with his guests, partially because they’re so boring.
“I get it, Cadillac, cataract … no you STAY OUT THERE!”
Phoebe instantly recognizes that Monica is “so much the smitten kitten",” despite Monica’s protestations and reminder that “he’s a grown up.” Phoebe knows Mon’s hooked though, especially when Monica mentions her upcoming eye appointment—even though she had her eyes checked recently.
The chemistry between Monica and Richard is insane. Looking into each other’s eyes, even in an optometrist’s office, the chemistry is practically palpable.
Monica goes on a date with Richard, despite Ross’s judgmental reaction to the news.
“I’m dating a man who’s pool I once peed in.”
“I’m a whole person who can drink older than you.”
Their dynamic is great: He’s sophisticated and mature, and an excellent match for our beloved Mom-ica!