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S02 E05 - TOW Five Steaks and an Eggplant

S02 E05 - TOW Five Steaks and an Eggplant

aka TOW Cucumber Mush and Sucking Blowfish

OAD: 10/19/95

SIGNATURE BEVERAGE: SALTY CUCUMBER MUSH-ITOS

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Phoebe’s forced to order cucumber mush, and she’s pretty salty about it. So we present a modified mojito with some fresh-cracked salt!

Elizabeth’s version was a complete mess: The only official ingredients she had were rum and cucumber, and everything else that she subbed in was pretty much a mistake. However, she did drink it, and could tell that, properly prepared, it would’ve been a good drink!

Note to self: Peppermint extract does NOT taste the same as fresh mint.

Additional note to self: Sprite is NOT club soda.

Heather pretty much stuck to the recipe, and enjoyed how the salt brought out the cucumber flavor. We think you’ll like it, too!

FOOD

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  • We LOVE the canisters on top of the guys’ fridge! Who knew that Chandler and Joey would jump on the rose gold trend almost 25 years ahead of schedule?

  • Joey’s eating a soft pretzel with mustard! A classic combination!

  • Five steaks and an eggplant! We never get to see what Monica actually does with the steaks (or the eggplant), because they all get into a fight and she storms out of her own house. But we’re sure it would’ve been yummy! Check out this tried-and-true steak recipe from Alton Brown for some inspiration.

FASHION

RACHEL

Rachel starts things off in a very cute long-sleeved black shirt with white and black-striped trim. We can’t tell if it’s a dress or a top. She’s kept it on the casual side, pairing it with a grey sweatshirt (tied around her waist) and what are quickly becoming her signature white sneakers.

At the fancy restaurant, she’s apparently so strapped for cash that she’s had to pull a Scarlet O’Hara and sew her drapes into a dress. This very boring number just doesn’t do her any justice — it’s really hard to pull off beige! She makes up for it the next day at Central Perk, when she wears a cute short-sleeved crop top sweater with buttons down the front. Very “sexy librarian”!

MONICA

WTF were you thinking with this pants suit, Monica? Not only is it a questionable ensemble for a day of chef-ing, but it’s just all wrong. The cut is unflattering, and the collar on that dress shirt could poke your eye out if you’re not careful! pants suit.

However, Monica got super cute super fast when she transitioned into overalls! See, now that is something we envision chefs in underneath their chef jackets! For the Hootie and the Blowfish concert, Monica kicks the sexy factor up a bunch by wearing a sheer lace top and bra, and black satin pants!

PHOEBE

Once again, Phoebe wins the fashion award for this episode with her fun, upbeat looks. And look how she kicks things off — in another newsprint shirt! This time it’s a long-sleeved button-down. It’s similar to a top that Heather recently spotted at New York & Company.

At the fancy restaurant, she sports a daisy-print black skirt, black top, and lacy/crochet vest — we can imagine it on a whippersnapper attending Coachella! Next, she goes super casual in a very hippie/new age purple and green top with hand symbols on it, purple slip-on sneakers, and even adds on a shiny purple coat later! She wraps up the episode in a daisy necklace and sheer black flower-printed cardigan and skirt.

FUN

CHANDLER AND JADE

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The episode opens with Chandler and Ross watching Spanish midgets wrestling (or are they Mexican midgets?) Chandler’s screening his calls, and a sexy (and apparently lonely) woman calls. Chandler turns on his super-creep (we haven’t seen him this creepy since the one where he’s a sexual predator and dates his subordinate at work) and pretends to be her former lover, Bob. Then he furthers the lie by telling Ross that he’s going to meet Jade, but this time posing as the guy who swoops in to scoop her up after she’s stood up by Chandler-Bob. WTF, Chandler?!

“Having a phone has finally paid off.”

The only thing we like about this plot line is Jade herself. She’s gorgeous, and somewhat curvy, too! Elizabeth looked up to her when she was an awkward and chubby teenager, thinking, If Chandler loves curves, maybe there’s hope for me, too!

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And did you catch the guy behind Chandler at Central Perk, holding the 1/9 brochure we’ve seen stuck on Monica’s fridge? After doing some research (and sorry for those of you who are savvy enough to know what it is already), we realized it’s a subway map for the old 1/9 line in Manhattan.

“We don’t know Bob! We know me! We like me! Please let me be happy!”

Chandler, you are such a freakin’ creep.

He takes it even farther when he gives Jade Ross’s phone number because she thinks Chandler’s number is Bob’s number (this would so not happen in the cell phone age). Even Joey tries to get in on the action, when he’s home alone and intercepts another message from Jade. We’re trying to just enjoy the physical comedy of him jumping off the couch to pick up the phone, but the creep factor is just too strong.

MORE MONEY, MORE BLOWFISH

Oof. How awkward: Half the friends are rich, half are poor. You knew it was going to bite them at some point. This time, it’s double-whammy on Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey’s pockets: Ross’s birthday hoopla — including a Hootie and the Blowfish concert — and, Monica’s been promoted at work and wants to celebrate at “some place nice.”

At the fancy dinner, half of the friends indulge in things like grilled prawns and Cajun catfish, and the other half subsist on side salads and cucumber soup.

“What are these, like famous chickens?”

“I’ll have the Thai chicken pizza. But if I get it without the nuts and leeks and stuff, is it cheaper?”

“I’m going to have a cup of the cucumber soup … and … take care!”

Monica, Ross, and Chandler get the full run of fancy meal fare: adult beverages, entrees and appetizers, dessert, and coffee. The other three barely make it, probably only because there are plenty of breadsticks in the middle of the table. At the end of the meal, Ross splits the check — evenly.

“No. Uh-uh. Sorry, not gonna happen!”

“Whoa! Prom night flashback!”

Phoebe throws a fit, and rightfully so, as far as we’re concerned. We HATE when one person has four drinks, the lobster, and five desserts, someone else has a soup and salad, and people want to split the check down the middle. Not cool.

To try to make amends, Monica, Chandler, and Ross buy the other three’s Hootie tickets. Their plan backfires, though, when the three poor friends say it feels like charity. Oh, we almost forgot to mention: How hilarious is it that everyone is SO excited to see Hootie and the Blowfish?! They really did blow up in the mid 90s, though. We can hardly blame the gang for getting caught up in the … hoot-lah.

“I’m going to pass on the concert because I’m not in a very Hootie place right now.”

The three rich friends go to the concert, the other three stay at home and count Joey’s fingers. The next day, Monica’s got a hickey — “the work of a Blowfish” — and the other three are SO jealous.

“Ugh! We’re sitting at home, counting Joey’s fingers, and you’re all, ‘Hey Blowfish, suck on my neck.’”

A bit of trivia for you: the extras!! The same extras that they used in the concert scene were also used in the Central Perk scene the next day. Check it out:

NOT ON NETFLIX

  • Chandler’s Fantasy Island impression when Ross is trying to talk him out of going to meet Jade

  • After the rich friends’ epic meal; Chandler: “Does anyone else feel like they just gave birth to an alien?” Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey: “No.”

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