S02 E04 - TOW Phoebe's Husband
aka TOW Toxic Rachel and a Pot Pigeon
SIGNATURE BEVERAGE: SANGRIA
Phoebe’s not-so-gay ice dancer husband wears a sparkly matador costume in this episode, so we said “Olé” and made some sangria!
Elizabeth’s concoction was a thrown-together mish-mash based on the very limited supplies she had at home, but it turned out pretty well! You’ll have to take her word for it, since it sounds pretty darn gross on paper:
Cabernet Sauvignon, Sprite, ginger syrup, orange juice, and brandy.
Behold: The miracle of sangria.
Heather stuck to a more classic version of sangria, and used a Spanish wine to keep things authentic.
We’ll let go the fact that she opened the bottle more than a month ago, just because we love her.
Entenmann’s boxes still on the fridge at Monica’s — are they taking their time eating them, or did they run out and restock because Entenmann’s rich frosted donuts are AWESOME?
Chocolate cake in the cake stand at Central Perk! — looks very rich and chocolatey — definitely a chocolate cake under that frosting, no vanilla in sight!
Whole fruit plate with orange and apple in Duncan’s dressing room — this helped seal the idea of sangria as our signature beverage!
“What exactly is in a Cobb salad?” — We know why you asked this question, Rachel, and we’re happy to answer: iceberg lettuce, bacon, boiled eggs, chicken, avocado, tomato, blue cheese! This is very similar to a salad that Jennifer Aniston ate every day on the FRIENDS set.
Rachel kicks things off in one of her iconic outfits: a USA shirt, black shorts, black tights, and black shoes! The rest of the episode, she’s in more muted clothing, but both times there’s a Nubbin Alert. The first is while she’s working in Central Perk and wearing a form-fitting v-neck blue top, and the second is when she’s rocking a plain gray v-neck tee at Ross’s place. In a memorable scene, they even change up the lighting to make her even more sexy and glamorous!
Oh, Monica, what are you wearing? These high-wasted dress pants are so poorly cut that even petite, tiny Monica manages to look hippy and disproportionate! It’s just not a good look. At all.
She almost pulls it off thanks to her v-neck black top and delicate jewelry, but … just … no.
In an interesting wardrobe choice, Phoebe starts off the episode in a horse-collage button-down shirt with actual pictures of horses (not drawings or graphics). Her best outfit of the episode comes next, though. She dresses up for her not-so-gay husband in a retro tweed minidress with pink stripes. She also wears white stockings, much to Heather’s chagrin, and some long pink earrings.
Okay, we know we see this shirt at least one more time. It definitely comes back for the scene in TOW the Prom Video when Rachel comes over and kisses him (because he’s her lobster!), but we think we see it even more often than that.
It’s a weird plaid — kinda purple, kinda brown, kinda gray, kinda green…
Where else have you seen it? Let us know!
What?! Phoebe’s MARRIED?! Yes, our beloved Pheebs helped gay ice dancer Duncan get his green card (he’s Canadian) by marrying him. Unfortunately, it turns out that he’s not gay, and he needs a divorce, so he interrupts Rachel’s pigeon-potting to drop by what he thinks is her apartment (she used to live with Monica, remember?)
Speaking of pigeons in pots, do you think the producers put those newspapers on the table in case of potential pigeon poop? We think so, too.
“I saw you eat a cheeseburger!”
Despite Phoebe’s protests to the contrary, we know that she was in love with Duncan and still carries a torch for him. Why else would she dress up so much to go see him at the Ice Capades? Speaking of the Capades, they’re not around anymore. But go here to learn all about them — including how they initially started as a Rockettes-ish display of beautiful women (the Ice Ca-pets).
We loved how the “I’m straight” scene turned sexual orientation on its head. Lines like “All my friends are gay!” “Everyone experiments in college,” “I was born this way,” “Have you told your parents? They’ll be cool with it -- my brother’s straight…” remind us that love is love and everyone needs to calm the eff down about it and move on.
“You told me it was a nubbin.”
That’s right — Chandler has a third nipple. As it turns out, Chandler isn’t alone. In fact, there are eight distinctive categories of nubbins, ranging from barely-there freckle-ish nubbins to pretty-much-another-breast nubbins.
“Pressing my third nipple opens the delivery entrance to the magical land of Narnia.”
The gang doesn’t hold back in making fun of Chandler’s nubbin. Julie tries to throw him a bone by telling him that in some cultures, extra nipples are seen as a sign of virility. So of course, we looked into that. Check out this quote from the BBC:
“The ancient Greeks sometimes depicted their goddess Artemis with multiple breasts, and followers of her Phoenician counterpart, Astarte, believed that extra breasts and nipples were indicators of abundant fertility. Men with extra nipples, it was once believed, were more virile than their double-nippled brethren. While it is now known that additional nipples are not associated with enhanced fecundity, the idea was still taken seriously by medical practitioners as recently as the 1800s.”
Not bad, Chan-man!
JOEY IN A PORNO
“Joey was in a porno movie!”
“If I’m goin’ down, I’m takin’ everybody with me.”
Anxious to get the attention off of him after Monica outs his own secret, Chandler tries to distract everyone by revealing that Joey was in a porno movie. Ross procures a copy of the tape, and we see that Joey didn’t actually … do the deed. Instead he played a side character.
“There I am. There I am. There I am.”
Rachel and Ross have switched personas: In this episode, Rachel is the one who’s being a toxic asshole! When Ross confides in her that he’s nervous about having sex with Julie, Rachel tells him to wait even longer, claiming that women like it. Not cool!
Rachel eventually comes to her senses outside Ross’s apartment, when he confesses that, after being miserable for so long, he’s finally happy. Then we’re treated to an ultra-glam Rachel moment when she describes how she would like “it” to happen, were she in Julie’s shoes. The chemistry between her and Ross is OFF THE CHARTS in this scene!
How did Ross not see Chandler’s nubbin during the four years they were college roommates?
What cat is in the photo on Monica’s fridge? Also a picture of a … monkey??
NOT ON NETFLIX
Rachel complaining about Julie to Monica: “Does she put on an outfit at night and go out and fight crime?” and then later, when Monica tells her to get over it, she says, ‘I’m gonna have to write that down on my hand.”